A brilliant man recently died very suddenly. I’d never met him, but he was a pillar in his area and I grieve with my colleagues who will be most affected by his death. I have emailed him, read his articles, and watched his interview.
Though his death is not about me, I can’t help noticing how it affects me in different ways:
One is unselfish – I feel pain for his children, his wife, the school, churches, and leadership teams that he was so crucial to. I wonder why God would take such an essential man from them all.
He was the same age as my parents – immediately my heart tightens around my husband, my parents, our families – don’t take them, God! Fear rules.
Yet I marvel, the next day, how much my life goes on, untroubled. I can’t live in a constant state of grief, especially for someone I don’t personally know. I forget, and move on with my work. Then I’m reminded again and my heart is burdened anew for a time, before the rhythm of life sweeps me in to forgetfulness again.
Perhaps I’m like the disciples in the garden – falling asleep rather than facing the reality of death or pain…But every time my thoughts are turned back to him and his family and community, my prayers for them are re-said. It is not enough, but it is what I can do.
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