The song I've had cycling through my head all day...

This morning I just had to stop everything I was doing and let these lyrics sink in.

"Oh My God" - Jars of Clay

Oh my God, look around this place
Your fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God"

Oh my God, Why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase, and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friend
Oh my God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away, and a mother cries

Liars and fools; sons and failures
Thieves will always say
Lost and found; ailing wanderers
Healers always say
Whores and angels; men with problems
Leavers always say
Broken hearted; separated
Orphans always say
War creators; racial haters
Preachers always say
Distant fathers; fallen warriors
Givers always say
Pilgrim saints; lonely widows
Users always say
Fearful mothers; watchful doubters
Saviors always say:

Sometimes I cannot forgive
These days mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces light
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children - this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers - this is our greatest offense

Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God

Musings

I was just reflecting on my new-found desire to blog.

I think that it's partly related to my work, and partly to my renewed escapist obsession interest in reading. I don't have a lot of creative output available to me at work right now, and all these new books are a creative input, needing an outlet.
Though, I suppose talking about other people's creativity doesn't require much creativity - it is easier to be a critic than a creator.

I also don't have energy for much social interaction - haven't been reaching out to people

much lately. Big groups wear me out, church gatherings feel like too many people. Once I'm there, I'm usually okay-ish, but the idea of it is exhausting.

Not to say I've been a total recluse, but beyond visiting our families each week, I haven't wanted to do much. Having one kindred spirit over for a meal and a low-key evening has been almost the only interaction I've been interested in. I should reach out more, I know.

So I guess this is my non-social way of being social, my non-creative way of being creative...

(not so) Social Media

What to do when facebook is boring and twitter is incomprehensible?

Go back to blogging, that's what.

Have I become a dinosaur? Sometimes I suspect I have.
Facebook isn't often interesting...I don't spend all that much time on it. Still useful for sending messages to people that you have no other way of contacting, and ocasionally seeing people's holiday pictures.
Perhaps I'm too self-centred. I'm vaguely interested in the big life moments of people that I used to know - engagements, etc. But the most interesting profiles are of people I actually see all the time - my sister-in-law posting funny pictures her class drew for her...and then we get to reminisce and laugh about them when we're together.

That's partly why I miss the little blogging community we used to have...I guess I also miss that circle of people that used to be. It was a good group.

But circles change and life carries on. I guess that's okay too. You can't recapture those moments. And all you have left is bittersweet memories. And facebook friends.